Broken Dreams and Shattered Truths
by WanderingChild96
Summary: Every truth he'd ever believed was shattered that day in the castle. Every dream she'd ever had was broken by his departure. When N returns, he and Touko unearth a surprising revelation. Ferriswheelshipping.


_Broken Dreams and Shattered Truths_

Sometimes when he's asleep, he dreams about her. He remembers every detail of her face, the sound of her voice; he remembers the day he met her, when her Pokémon had told him how much they loved her. He hadn't understood how it was possible- after all, his entire life he had been told how humans were cruel to Pokémon. He had never met one who _wanted_ to be with humans. He hardly counted himself as human.

She had challenged him to think harder about what he wanted. Every truth he'd ever believed had been shattered that day in the castle, when his whole life was revealed to be a lie. She had beaten him, and yet… He remembered the pain in her eyes as his father had screamed at him. "_You are nothing more than a warped, defected boy who knows nothing about Pokémon!"_ He recalled her sorrow as he bid her farewell. A part of him hoped that she would go after him, but when she didn't, he was relieved. He needed to leave- to find out who he was, and what he wanted for himself. He knew that if she asked him to stay, he wouldn't be able to refuse her.

She keeps him going. There are times when he wants to give up, and accept that Ghetsis was right. He was merely a freak without a human heart, who understood nothing- not Pokémon, and not humans. Then he remembers the way her hand felt in his on the Ferris wheel, and the way she smiled whenever they crossed paths. She had cared for him. She had believed that he was more than a warped individual. With that knowledge, he sleeps peacefully.

_N*Touko_

He haunts her nightmares. Whenever she closes her eyes, he appears. Night after night, she watches him fall apart beneath his father's cruel words. She hears his quiet voice as he tells her goodbye, and sees him climb on top of Reshiram and fly away into the distance. She wakes up screaming for him to come back.

She travels non-stop, trying to draw her mind to other things, but it seems that every place in Unova holds memories of him. When Looker asked her to help him find the Sages, she did so willingly. A piece of her truly believed that locating them would lead her to _him_. When the Shadow Triad appeared before her, she hoped that they brought news of him. She was disappointed.

Every once in a while, she comes across Cheren and Bianca- but their friendship has changed as well. They don't understand. How can they? Zekrom alone knows how she feels, and understands the horrors that plague her in the night. "Touko, what can we do to make you happy again?" Bianca tries so hard to keep their friendship alive, but _nothing_ she can do can repair what's been done.

Touko is no more than an empty shell. She and he had been two halves of the same whole- the two heroes destined to unite Unova. They could not exist as separate entities. She could have stopped him, and that's what destroys her. All she had to do was say, "Don't go," and he would have stayed.

Tonight, her nightmare is worse than ever. She is sitting with him on the Ferris wheel, but as he speaks, he begins to change. His innocent face morphs into that of Ghetsis', as she watches in terror. Suddenly, he becomes himself again. _He was right… I am a monster._ She tries to tell him that he's wrong, but she cannot speak. Her silence hurts him, and he bows his head. _Make your dream come true, Touko._ He opens the hatch on the cart, and steps out into the air. She watches, horrified, as he falls. Reshiram is going to catch him, she thinks desperately. But he doesn't.

She wakes up sobbing his name. His departure has broken her heart, her spirit, and all of her dreams. She cannot do what he asked of her- not without him.

_N*Touko_

It feels strange for him to return to Unova after nearly three years. He doesn't know why, but the first place he goes is Nimbasa City. It's incredible for him to believe that she'd be there, but he remembers her most vividly here and he has to try. He wonders what she's been doing the past few years. As the Champion, she was most likely busy with T.V. interviews and lectures. Maybe she'd opened a gym. He thinks momentarily that she's probably forgotten all about him. He shakes his head as if that might banish the thought from his mind.

As he approaches the Ferris wheel, he remembers the last time he was here. He remembered seeing her run by, desperately trying to find Team Plasma. "_You're looking for Team Plasma, right?" _he'd asked. "_They ran into the amusement park. Come with me."_ She was so trusting; she had smiled at him like no-one else had ever done. When they hadn't found his grunts, he knew that he had to stall her. He couldn't leave her here to face them alone. He… _liked_ her. She was different from how he believed humans were. "_Let's ride the Ferris wheel and see if we can spot them."_

He'd helped her into the cart, unable to stop the small smile from gracing his lips as she took his hand. He had never touched her before. It was different from the way his father touched him, or Anthea and Concordia. This touch was gentle, and for the first time in his life, it didn't equal pain. "_You always show up just at the right time, N," _she said. "_I wouldn't have been able to ride the Ferris wheel alone."_ He had to tell her. He didn't want her to find out from anyone but him.

"_I must tell you… I am the king of Team Plasma." _He'd waited for the look of betrayal to cross her face, but it didn't come. She'd sighed, and taken his hand.

_"N, I think I've always known that you were a part of Team Plasma… You sympathize with them. But, I have to admit, I didn't expect you to be their king."_ She'd smirked, although her eyes looked sadder than he'd ever seen them. "_I can't tell you what to believe, N, but I can tell you that Pokémon love being with humans."_

_ "Not the ones I've met," _he'd said obstinately. "_Humans are cruel to them. You may be the exception…" _

_ "N," _she'd said quietly, "_Who told you that?"_

But at that moment, the Ferris wheel ride ended, and upon exiting, they found themselves face-to-face with the grunts. "_My Lord N!" _cried one. "_Sire, you're safe!" _said the other. He couldn't leave them to be defeated by Touko. He would have to fight her himself, although he was slowly beginning to realize that victory was not always within his grasp. She won the battle in a landslide, and he couldn't understand. Who was this girl who constantly disrupted his plans, his dreams? And why did his heart speed up every time she drew near?

_"You're quite strong. But I have a future that I must change," _he'd told her, determined to bring his thoughts back to the matter at hand. He had to remember that she was nothing to him but an obstacle on the path to his destiny. "_And, for that future... I'll defeat the Champion and become unbeatable, unlike any other! I'll make all Trainers free their Pokémon! Just try and stop me! If you want to be together with Pokémon, your only hope is to collect the Badges from each area and head for the Pokémon League! Try and stop me there, if you dare! If your conviction is not strong enough, you will never be able to defeat me."_

"_When are you going to realize that I don't want to fight you, N?" _ He'd left as quickly as he could, lest he tell her that he didn't want to fight her either.

In the distance, N could see a figure sitting on the bench outside the Ferris wheel. It couldn't be… He had never truly believed that she would be there, but she was. She looked no different than she had three years ago- beside the fact that her eyes looked older. Although she hadn't yet noticed him, he could see her face. She was sad, and he couldn't stop himself from saying, "Touko, what's wrong?"

She jumped to her feet and reached for a Pokéball at her belt before her eyes met his and widened in realization. "N?"

_N*Touko_

She stared at him in silence for what could have been eternity. She'd believed him to be gone forever. But here he was all the same, just as he'd been when he'd left. "You're back." Her voice came out as a whimper.

He nodded. "Yes."

"Where have you been?" she asked evenly, trying to control her breathing. She wouldn't break in front of him- he'd broken her enough as it was.

"Everywhere," he replied. "I visited the other regions. I wanted to meet other people, other Pokémon… Hoenn was by far the most beautiful. They have a city there that can only be reached from underwater- it was astounding."

N spoke to her for hours about his travels, and she came to understand that he had been lonely. For three years, he'd had no one to talk to. Even she had been luckier than that. Finally, when he'd said all that he could about the cities he'd been to and the people he'd encountered, he sighed heavily and said in a quiet voice, "I was a fool."

"What?"

"I was a fool to believe Ghetsis… I was so naive to think that the world was evil." He looked at her gently. "If it wasn't for you, Touko, I would still believe that. You saved me from destroying this perfect world." He gazed thoughtfully at the Pokéballs hanging from her belt. "Will you allow me to hear your Pokémon's voice again?"

She hesitated. What would they tell him? How she had sulked for all this time about his departure? How she was kept awake by nightmares of his death? But the eagerness in his eyes made her smile in spite of herself and he released Zekrom from his Pokéball.

"Hello, Zekrom," said N with a smile. "Nice to see you again." For what wasn't the first time, Touko envied him for his ability to speak to Pokémon. What she wouldn't give for the power… N was listening rather intently to what Zekrom had to say, and every once in a while, he would look up to frown at Touko. At last, it appeared that the conversation had ended, because he said, "Thank you for letting me know, Zekrom. And thank you… for keeping her safe for me." He looked at her. "I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you, Touko."

"What did he tell you?" she asked softly, wishing that she was hidden under a rock somewhere- that she was anywhere but here, with his pointed gaze piercing through her. It was a ridiculous question, and both of them knew it. She knew what Zekrom had told him, and N knew it as well. What he must think of her… He would call her weak. He would leave again; laugh at her for being so sentimental.

She decided not to look at him. If he was going to leave her again, he could, and she wouldn't have to go through the pain of watching him do it. "Touko…" Was she imagining it, or was he crying? "Touko… I'm so sorry." His arms enveloped her, and she sobbed to know that he wasn't going to disappear again.

_N*Touko_

As he held her, N knew that he never wanted to let go. She had been his savior, and he had been her downfall. While her memory had given him happiness on his travels, his memory had given her nothing but sorrow. He couldn't remember the last time he cried, but he knew that he may never stop.

"N…" she whispered against his shoulder. "If I'd asked you not to go, would you have stayed?"

"Yes," he replied. "I didn't want to go."

_"Touko! You said you have a dream… That dream… Make it come true!" _He remembered his words to her at their last meeting. "Then why did you?" she asked, and he wondered if she was thinking of them too.

"I had to find out what I wanted for myself. I had to find a new dream…" he trailed off. "I traveled so many places, Touko. I saw so many things that I'd never imagined in my wildest dreams, but it wasn't enough. Somewhere along the way, I realized that the only place I belonged was… wherever you were." It felt good, admitting that to her.

"Why?" she asked, her lip quivering.

"_You _are my new dream, Touko," he whispered. And with a teary smile, she replied: "And you are mine."

* * *

**A/N: The final line is shamelessly stolen from Disney's "Tangled." I love that movie, and every time I listen to "I See the Light," I think of Touko and N.**


End file.
